Before we know it our children are grown and gone. I have three children; 21, 15, and 11. My oldest has already flown the coupe and the other two are not far behind. I’m becoming more aware of this everyday. The question that continually haunts me is, “Are they prepared for life?”

Since the beginning of time, God had a plan for the family. The family is the only unit by which our species can grow and learn. If it’s destroyed, so is the family. Sadly, this is what’s happening when father’s and mother’s are absent from the home either physically or emotionally. Children are left at home alone to raise themselves. Their role models are their peers, tv, and music videos. This is not God’s plan.

If we look back at history, fathers and mothers were at home raising their children. By the time a child was 5-7 years of age, they began working along side the parent of their same gender. Sons learned their father’s trade and daughters learned from their mother’s how to care for the home by working along side of her. They were being nurtured and prepared for life. Children were learning to be father’s and mothers. They were learning to be farmers, shoemakers, silversmiths, seamstresses, and mothers.

This was true for Jesus. At a young age, he began working with his father, Joseph, learning the trade of carpentry. Jesus was also learning about character as he watched his father craft and sell his product. He was learning how to be a father when Joseph would take his son’s hand into his own and show him how to fashion a chair. Jesus was learning friendship and social graces all from his father who was present in his life. This kind of lifestyle doesn’t exist for most anymore. What happened?

The Industry Revolution is what happened. This great opportunity revolutionized our lives! Or so they say. Fathers first, then mothers, left the home and went out to work in factories. Gadgets and gizmo’s were developed to make life easier and to give us more time for ourselves. In truth, it has actually done the opposite. We don’t need each other as much when we have washing machines and dishwashers to clean the clothes and our dishes. What are we doing with our extra time? We are climbing the corporate ladder in hopes of developing more gadgets and gizmo’s.

Take cells phones for example. They are suppose to make life easier. Ever since I got one my life has become more chaotic. I can be found and interrupted anywhere anytime. I watch people having lunch who are busy talking on their cells phones instead of with one another. Just last night while our family was eating out, I had to ask my daughter to stop texing her friends and join our conversation. Guess what? We had a good time!

That's not the worst of it. This revolution took mom and dad out of the home and created distance between them and their children. There is so much more that distances us from one another…television, too many extra-circular activities, the internet, and on and on. With distance comes degeneration. We must be present in the lives of our children. Recently, I’ve become more and more convicted about closing the gap and become more intentional about spending quality, teachable time with my children. I’m not saying that I haven’t always strived to teach my children the ways of God and how to live a godly life. I’m just saying I want to be more intentional. I want to do it God’s way. It’s the only way to succeed. If you do too, then allow me to share my goals with you and perhaps you will share yours with me.

I want to teach my children to know and obey God
…to have and display godly character
…to know how to love their spouse by loving mine
…to know and love their children by knowing and loving them
…to know their gifts, and then, help them discover God’s plan for their lives.

Labels: According to Micca

Yesterday, we buried my brother in law’s 84 year old mother. She lived a good and godly life. As the pastor read from several letters written to her on her 80th birthday by her children, in laws, and grandchildren, the words gave insight to those who didn’t know her well. The letters describe what kind of wife, mother, grandmother, in law, and friend she was. Although I knew “Winnie” Tohill for more than 25 years, I found myself desiring to be like her for the first time. I mean how often do you identify with an old lady? But yesterday, I did. I want to leave behind the same kind of godly legacy she built and left for her family.

Building and leaving a godly legacy is a wonderful thing. However, I also discovered a deeper truth. As we celebrated her entery into heaven and said our good-bys, I wept. I’m not sure why this caught me off guard. I find that I often cry at funerals whether or not I know the person well. For example, when I attended the funeral of a friend who lost her mother to cancer—whom I didn’t even know—I cried. I didn’t shed just a few tears. No. My tears soaked through several tissues.

Of course tears were a natural response at Winnie’s funeral. I will miss her. But I also cried because I knew the grief that my brother in law, sister, niece and nephew were experiencing. That’s the same reason I grieved for my friend at her mom’s funeral. Even though I didn’t know the deceased, I knew the daughter’s pain. I had experience that kind of loss---the loss of a loved one to death. I knew its sting; its pain and the hollow feeling it leaves behind.

Once you’ve experienced that kind of grief, you can identify with it in others. When I’m at a funeral, I feel the sorrow of those grieving and my natural reaction is to weep. Isn’t that what Jesus did at Lazarus’ funeral? He wept. Jesus was moved to tears at the sorrow that had engulfed his friends Mary and Martha. Christ cried, I believe, because he identity with their pain. “Yada” is the Greek word for know. It means there is a deep personal connection between persons where one can feel what the other feels. We have a High Priest who knows suffering on all levels. So when you and I hurt, Christ whisper’s “yada” into our ears. “I know.” He says. “I know your pain.” And He weeps with us. Christ also brings us comfort.

Through cards, hugs, meals, and the visits of others, Jesus brought me tangible comfort. Sometimes when I’d read the Word, I would find comfort. Other times it was an overwhelming sense of His presence as I prayed that blanketed me with comfort. In each instance, Christ was identifying with my pain and soothing its wound all at the same time. From my pain came a ministry of comfort to others.

A ministry of comfort is one of many beauties God brought out of my ugly situation. Through my loss, I’ve learned that whatever makes you and me cry is what we are called to heal. Let me ask you. “What makes you cry?” Is it starving children in a third world somewhere? Is it abuse; the brokenness that divorce leaves behind, moral corruption, those who are lost or enslaved to addiction? What makes you cry? Whatever it is God wants to use you to bring healing through a ministry of comfort. Don’t waste those tears. Ask God how you can help. You might be the answer to someone’s cry.

Labels: According to Micca

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)

As a little girl, I remember gazing at a picture of the crucifixion that hung on the wall in my Sunday school class. Christ body was thin and hung limb to one side. His head bowed low. Blood trickled down His face from the crown of thorns atop his head. Nails pierced His hands and feet. Later I discovered it was the love of a heavenly Father for a sinner such as I that held him to that cross.

I was a young adult when I read about the crucifixion in the Word of God. The Bible painted a different picture of Christ’s death than the one I had known as a child.

“Yet many shall be amazed when they see him—yes, even far off foreign nations and their kings; they shall stand dumbfounded, speechless in his presence. For they shall see and understand what they had not been told before. They shall see my Servant beaten and bloodied, so disfigured one would scarcely know it was a person standing there.” (Isaiah 52:14-15, LBT)

Suddenly, I realized they had not simply nailed Christ to a cross, placed a crown of thorns upon His head, gashed His side with a spear, spit in His face, gave him vinegar to drink, gambled for his clothes, and beat Him with a whip, but they beat Him until He became unrecognizable flesh hanging on a cross.

My mind flashed back to the first time I walked into the hospital room after my husband had been burned in a house fire. His skin was completely black, his head was swollen twice the normal size and the skin on his arms was gone. He was unrecognizable!

If Porter had been told ahead of time that working in that house would result in death, I’m sure he wouldn’t have chosen to go. Nevertheless, Christ knew the horror of what men and women would do to Him and, yet He chose to suffer. Christ laid aside His royal crown, took off His righteous robe, and left His Holy Father and His heavenly home to come to the dark land of sin and corruption. The King of all Kings considered Himself nothing. Willing Christ paid our debt. And yet, He was Innocent.

Christ didn’t deserve death. He had never lied, stolen anything, nor was He a drug dealer or prostitute. Christ never disobeyed, harbored hatred, or judged or rejected others. He never gambled or yearned for his neighbor’s wife. Christ never cheated on His taxes or betrayed a friend. No, Jesus Christ didn’t do any of this, but we did.

Suddenly, I realized. I was the guilty. His death was for my past, present, and future sins; nothing more. It wasn’t man’s will or nails of iron that held Jesus there. It was the obedience of a Son and the love of a Father for His wayward children.

The good news is Christ died for “whosoever!” That includes you. Whosoever you are, a parent, a teenager, a man, a woman, a grandparent, or a child, Christ chooses you. Will you receive His gift of forgiveness? Your life will never be the same.

This devotion was taken from "God's Purpose for Every Woman" a P31 Devotional. You can order your copy on line at www.proverbs31.org and visiting the resource department.

Happy Easter!!

He Has Risen!!

Labels: According to Micca

This past weekend I found “normal”…Normal, IL that is. I spent the weekend speaking at Hearts at Home National Conference held in Normal, IL. This conference is geared toward equipping mothers to be the best mom’s they can be. Over 6000 women attended! They are having two more conferences in the fall. One in October 3-4 and the other one is November 7-8. I will be at both and would love to see you there! You will walk away renewed, refreshed, and encouraged as a mom with the tools you need to fulfill your God-given calling as a mom.

While I had high hopes of experiencing what “normal” really is in Normal, IL, I found that the “norm” for me is the same no matter where I go. I flew out of Nashville Thursday morning for IL with a connecting flight in Atlanta. In Atlanta, I met up with LeAnn Rice, our Executive Director of Proverbs 31 Ministries, who was accompanying me on the trip to Hearts. We had just enough time for lunch before our flight to IL so we ate at Chili’s just around the corner from our gate. The time went quickly as the two of us chatted away catching up on the events of each others lives. LeAnn noticed that we only had 10 minutes before our plane left so we paid the bill and made a dash toward the gate.

Having just had lunch, I knew that soon I was going to have to empty my bladder of diet Coke. At my age, it’s important never to pass up a bathroom. While there is a bathroom on the plane, it’s the same size bathroom you’d find in a pre-school classroom. Squatting over a regular size toilet and achieving perfect aim is trouble enough, but when you’re attempting to balance yourself over a pee-wee size toilet without smashing your nose into the door directly in front of you is virtually impossible! So, I suggested that we “go” before boarding the plan. While LeAnn was concerned about the time, I convinced her they would wait for us. I was wrong.

Even though our plane was still on the ground, once they close the door no one gets off or on! (Even if you beg.) We had missed our flight! I felt horrible! We didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. LeAnn comforted me by saying, “I had a funny feeling that traveling with you would be an adventure.” She was right.
The next plane to IL was 3 hours later. I suggested we shop to pass the time. LeAnn suggested we find our gate and plant ourselves there. That’s what we did.

In the meantime, I called my connection in IL to let her know we’d be arriving much later due to the fact that we made a stop for the bathroom and missed our plane. Apparently, a person from the South needs an interpreter to communicate with someone in the North because she misunderstood the reason we missed our plane. When I said we made a “stop” she thought I said we went to “shop” and missed our plane. When we finally arrived in IL, everyone wanted to know what we purchased on our shopping spree that caused us to miss our flight! I spent all weekend explaining the misunderstanding to every person who had heard about the tale. I’m not sure what was more embarrassing…having everyone think we were shopping instead of focusing on the conference or having to explain that we actually missed the plane because we were in the bathroom.

I know what would have been more embarrassing….missing the second flight! Sitting for 3 hours is a long time. During that time, LeAnn and I had a large Starbucks coffee. Just before it was time to board the second plane, I decided to make a quick run to the bathroom. Does this seem familiar to anyone? LeAnn decided to wait at the gate. It was a good thing that she did because they began boarding the plane early. As I was making my way through the crowd back to the gate, I met LeAnn who was frantically screaming, “Come On! Hurry Up! They’re boarding the plane?” I responded in shock. “You’ve got to be kidding me?” We raced through the corridor yelling, “Wait! Wait!” Luckily, this time we made it!

As they say, “All’s well that end’s well.” The conference was a huge success. Several came to know the Lord through this imperfect, flawed person whose norm in life seems to be followed by unexpected chaos. …But this is how God works. He uses all my abnormalities to encourage others who feel just as abnormal as I do. Woman after Woman came to tell me how much they related to my life and being able to see God’s faithfulness in the midst of it all gave them hope.

Bottom line…normal life is full of mishaps, troubles, and chaos---whether it touches our lives from an outside source or they are brought on by our own actions. Yet, in the midst of it all, we have a God who bigger…a God who says, “In this world, you will encounter many trials, but take heart! Have peace! I have overcome it all!” In God, no matter what we face, we can succeed because he has overcome it. Regardless of all we went through to get to the conference, LeAnn and I made it to IL where God did much in our hearts and those who attended.

Labels: According to Micca

Are you a “to do” person or a “to be” person? A “to do” person is someone who is well organized. They are usually a planner and actively productive. One the other hand, a “to be” person—which is what I am—isn’t a planner. They are not well organized nor are they very productive unless they are hit with inspiration. Then, look out! A masterpiece is about to be created. In fact, it’s been stated that “to be” people actually get more done than “to do” people who spend most of their time planning instead of creating.

“To be” people like to “be” in the moment. They like to be surprised by the Ah-ha moments of life, whereas “to do” people plan to be awed by arranging a visit to the Grand Canon. “To be” people simply like to stumble across it. Well, not stumble in the sense that they fall in. Ironically the down side of “to be” people is that they often find themselves falling into situations that “to do” people plan to avoid.

I’m married to a “to do” person. He’s always planning ahead while I’m always dreaming about what could be or happen if we didn’t plan and just went with the flow?! This makes my husband extremely nervous--like the time we jumped in the van and took off for the beaches of Florida.

Our son’s baseball team was on a winning streak that summer which forced us to cancel our family vacation. Wouldn’t you know it? As soon as we canceled our trip, the team lost two games in a roll. They were out of the competition. On our way home from the ball field, I suggested we go on to Florida even through our reservations had been canceled. Right away my husband rejected that idea. He feared that there would be no rooms available. “Oh, think of the adventure!” I persuaded. “If there aren’t any rooms available, we’ll pitch a tent on the beach!” I added. The kids screamed with excitement over the idea of sleeping on the beach.

Much to my surprise, my husband agreed to the adventure. We quickly threw our clothes into the trunk along with the ice chest and a small pop-up tent that was made for backyard camp outs.

As dad backed the van out of the driveway, I turned to the kids and said, “Here we go!”
Anticipation and enthusiasm filled the air. Dad still seemed a bit skeptical, but he did smile and nod his head in agreement anyway. Of course, he was probably thinking, “yep, here we go…we’re headed for disaster.”

We arrived in Destin, Florida exactly at midnight. That late hour added to the suspense. Dad was sure that no hotel office would be open at this hour and we’d have to sleep in the car. Nevertheless, he parked the van and went into the first hotel we came to.

The kids and I held our breath as we waited for dad to return from the hotel lobby. The door open…there was dad…he’s got something in his hand…what is it?? It’s a room key!! “Hooray!” we cried all at once.

After we tucked the kids in bed, I said to my husband “See, there was nothing to worry about. It all worked out and we had a great adventure with more to come.”
“Yes.” He agreed. “I never doubted we wouldn’t.” He added handing me a piece of paper with a smudge grin across his face. “What’s this?” I asked. It was a confirmation number to our Hotel. My “to do” husband had called ahead while the kids and I were packing for the trip and booked a room without us knowing. That’s what I love about him. While he must be a “to do” person, he allows me “to be” the person I am as well. There are times when this formula doesn’t work well together. That week, our two personalities contributed to a memorable family vacation.

Labels: According to Micca

Somewhere along the way, I’ve lost what “normal” is. I can’t remember what it looks or feels like. I know it’s a place I want to get to and settle on leaving behind the stress and craziness of life. I’m pretty sure I’ve been there before. I tell my family and friends that I’ll catch up when life gets back to “normal.” I tell myself that I won’t feel as tired or the kids won’t seem so annoying when things are “normal” again. So, I wait. I wait for things to be “normal.” I wait and I wait. Then, I wait some more. Yet “normal” never comes. Could it be that my life is already “normal"?” Maybe being abnormal is "normal." Hummm…let’s see. You might be normal if…

You show up at the dentist on the right day but the wrong month for your appointment.

You might be normal if you forget to pick your child up from school twice in the same week.

You might be normal if you find yourself on a plane going to Boston when you’re destination is Virginia.

You might be normal if you’ve ever pumped gas with the back of your skirt tucked into your underwear.

You might be normal if you accidentally go grocery shopping on Senior Citizen day.

You might be normal if you mistake a conversation about the legendary baseball player Yogi Berra’s famous sayings for those of Yogi Bear by joining the conversation with “Hey, hey Boo-boo!”

You might be normal if you hold your mouth open while applying mascara.

You might be normal if you turn down the volume on the radio while looking for an address.

You might be normal if you sit down beside the wrong person at the movie theater and help yourself to their popcorn before you realize you’re hand is in the wrong bag because your bottom is in the wrong seat!

You might be normal if your legs turn red and swollen after a home waxing.

You might be normal if your bra size has gone from a 36 C to a 36 long.

And, you may be normal if your legs clap for you when you walk.

The above statements are all true experiences. That could only mean one thing.
According to my life, "abnormal" is the "norm." What about you?

Labels: According to Micca

It’s finished!! My manuscript for “Faith That Is Stronger Than All My Fear” has been turned in to my editor!! I thought about running naked through the streets but decided to have mercy on my neighbors and celebrate another way. Since it’s my birthday month, my husband is planning a dinner with friends at one of my favorite restaurants in Nashville. I can’t wait to RELAX, laugh, and enjoy this special time of celebration.

The experience was joyful. Anytime we are doing the Father’s will, we experience true joy. That doesn’t mean the task isn’t difficult. Like Paul, I had a race to run. Keeping the vision ever before me, I trained in the Word; I exercised prayer, I called on God’s strength for endurance; I needed His wisdom and guidance to maintain my course. It took sacrifice from me and my family. I’m so proud of my kids who sacrificed their mom so that I could give my time to this book. They knew their sacrifice meant hope for those God had me write for.

What’s truly amazing is even though ministry is about spending yourself for the sake of others, God always gives back. My relationship with Him through this process has become sweeter than ever. He was so real to me providing whatever I asked. I could sense His presence which inspired and empowered me. He also sent people to help—some helped with my kids, some prayed, and one became my second pair of eyes using her talent to polish mine. All this verified the truth I wrote about. We truly can live carefree in the care of God because He cares for us. Once you and I settle on that truth, our theology becomes a reality and we start to live as God truly intended---like little children who look to their Father when they’re afraid, when they’re in need, and when they are hurting. With each new need they wonder, “He is sufficient for this?” Only to discover, miraculously, He is.

Labels: According to Micca